How to Ask the Most Important Questions

Conversations that matter fall into two categories – the practical ones that deal with finances, medical, and planning for end of life preferences. The other kind of conversation, the one that deals with unfinished emotional business, can be a huge burden for a child after a parent dies. It can also be more difficult to navigate.

Here is a list of some of the most important questions you and your parent or child can discuss. The first five relate to specific issues or problems between you. The remainder cover areas that people who love each other want to say while they still can.

What could I have done differently?
How did my choice impact you?
What would you have done in my place?
How would that have changed our relationship?
What do you need from me now to move forward?
Do your parents/children know how much you love them?
What do you most respect and admire about them?
What is the most important thing you want them to know?
What are you most grateful for?
Do you need to ask for forgiveness?
 

Conversations from the heart can help you clear the emotional hurdles between you and someone you love. If you speak with respect and invite them to say what’s in their mind and heart as well, you will be leaving each other a legacy of trust and love.

Don’t wait to say these things. A ‘race to the bedside’ could be too late!